What do I Expect and What I am Working on in 2023/Kaj pričakujem in na čem delam v letu 20231/19/2023 I hadn't checked in for a while, mainly because I needed to sort out my thoughts, feelings and actions to change my life and steer it in a direction or path that was consistent with my atheistic and scientific worldview. Namely, for a long time, for reasons unknown to me, I was associated with all sorts of religion, new age and nostalgia.
In that sense, I can say that series His Dark Materials has pleasantly surprised me with its correct portrayal of the delusions of religion with its appeal to some (heavenly) Authority, its misconceptions about the original sin of the first woman (and those of us who have ever been in contact with such people know the fallacy of their fanaticism and what they are willing to do in the name of their beliefs and also how they use children for their own purposes), arrogance of the new-age concept of the angelic realm lead by Metatron (those of us who have ever been in contact with those who define themselves in this way have had unpleasant experiences with truly arrogant, authoritative and unempathic people) and the spectres (the ghosts of the past who, like 'monsters', suck the energy of people in the present, bullying them and not allowing them to live freely in the present.). The 'despotism and tirany' of all three (i.e. religion, spectres and Metatron) can only be properly countered by science and determination. The series also correctly identified the fallacy of the nun profession, as there is no one to reward good women or to reprimand bad women and who live such a life without erotic love, and how the feeling of love is important regardless of gender and sexual orientation. I realised once again how important this is and that I am lonely, single and alone and that I want friendships and new partnership. So first, at the beginning of January 2023, I renewed my friendship with just one ex-uni classmate and his partner; I made one brand new friendship, and the day before yesterday I finally contacted my once (and until today, by my criteria) best friend to renew my friendship with her. In January 2023, I paid my first memberships fee on various dating portals (I haven't met any interesting women who really caught my attention yet although met with two), but I'm working towards getting a partner. I also started working on my new projects, from a new book, new translation of the book, proof-reading of the novels to organizing and leading a symposium and editing. And finally I started to read fiction and non-fiction books again to learn something interesting or to renew a thought or awareness, to complete something or even to disprove an 'old' belief based on the new knowledge. From now on, I may write a review of a book, not just a series or a film. Otherwise, I had a pretty good 2022, although from one point of view I started 2023 less optimistic than the previous years although I have done all that I could in 2022 and in the previous years (in fact, I never lacked of optimism but I started 2023 without optimism in one area and I didn't feel like that since 2009. I am quite devastated and sad about that. I will also talk about this in one of the following posts). Kaj pričakujem in na čem delam v letu 2023 Nekaj časa se nisem javila, predvsem zato, ker sem morala urediti svoje misli, čustva in dejanja, s katerimi sem želela spremeniti svoje življenje in ga usmeriti v smer ali na pot, ki je skladen z mojim ateističnim, znanstvenim svetovnim nazorom. Namreč, dolgo časa se me je, iz meni neznanih razlogov, povezovalo . V tem smislu lahko rečem, da me je nanizanka His Dark Materials prijetno presentila s pravilnim prikazom zablod religije s sklicevanjem se na neko (nebeško) Avtoriteto, napačnimi predstavami o izvirnem grehu prve ženske (in tisti, ki smo bili kdajkoli v stiku s takšnimi, poznamo zgrešenost njihovega fanatizma in kaj vse so ti pripravljeni v imenu svojega prepričanja početi tistim, ki v to ne verjamejo ter tudi kako v svoje namene uporabljajo otroke), nadutim new-agerskim pojmovanjem angelske sfere z Metatronom na čelu (tisti, ki smo bili kdajkoli v stiku s temi, ki se tako opredeljujejo, imamo neprijetne izkušnje z resnično arogantnimi, nadutimi in neempatičnimi ljudmi) in spektri (duhovi preteklosti, ki kot 'monstrumi' sesajo energijo ljudem v sedanjosti, jih ustrahujejo in jim ne pustijo svobodno živeti v sedanjosti. Biti moramo močni, da se jim ne pustimo ustrahovati in živimo neodvisno od njih). Proti 'despotizmu in tiranizmu' vseh treh (tj. religiji, spektrom in Metatronu) se lahko pravilno zoperstavimo le z znanostjo in odločenostjo. Prav tako je nanizanka pravilno opredelila zgrešenost poklica nune, saj ni nikogar, ki bi nagradil pridne ženske ali grajal slabe ženske in ki povrhu živijo takšno življenje brez (erotične) ljubezni in kako je občutje ljubezni ne glede na spol in spolno usmerjenost pomembno. Tudi sama sem se še enkrat zavedala kako je omenjeno pomembno in se zavedala, da sem osamljena, samska in samotna ter da si želim prijateljstev in nove partnerske zveze. Tako sem najprej na začetku januarja 2023 obnovila prijateljstvo le z enim bivšim sošolcem s faksa in njegovo partnerko, vzpostavila sem eno povsem novo prijateljstvo in predvčeraj končno kontaktirala nekoč (in do danes po mojih kriterijih) najboljšo prijateljico, da bi z njo obnovila prijateljstvo. Januarja 2023 sem prvič plačala članarino na različnih zmenkarskih portalih (sicer zaenkrat še nisem srečala nobene zanimive ženske, ki bi zares pritegnila mojo pozornost), a vseeno delam v smeri pridobivanja partnerke. In končno sem začela ponovno brati leposlovne in neleposlovne knjige, ampak da bi kaj zanimivega izvedela ali da bi kakšno misel, zavedanje obnovila, kaj dopolnila ali tudi kakšno 'staro' prepričanje na podlagi novega znanja ovrgla. Od zdaj naprej bom napisala recenzijo tudi kakšne knjige, ne le nanizanke ali filma. Sicer pa sem imela precej dobro 2022, čeprav sem iz enega vidika začela leto 2023 manj optimistično kakor leta poprej (pravzaprav še nisem bila tako deprimirana in še nisem leta začela tako deprimerano po letu 2009, kakor letos. O tem bom prav tako spregovorila v enem od naslednjih objav).
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Katarina Majerholdphilsopher, lesbian, editor Archives
May 2023
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