Fiction Is Not Reality – Traps Of Television Representation Regardless of the importance of the representation I often time found myself getting emotionally invested in some actresses playing lesbian roles despite knowing they might be straight and even if they were potentially lesbian such emotional investment was useless since I was in no position to actually met them. Therefore I gradually became aware of the other side of the representation or mimesis (imitative representation of the real world in art and literature). Representation was invented in ancient Greece, so-called classical period 5. B.C. and it means the imitation of the person or event but at the same time, mimesis not only served as an identification but was also different from the object identified for the imitation. The difference that comes with imitation is twofold – first, the object imitated is the first step of representation (it is representation of the person, event, idea and it is not the actual person, event, idea. Nothing can fully encompass a person, event …); second, those who imitate the person, event, idea are different from the object represented. Therefore it is never a 'perfect' mirroring because what is mirrored is not identical to the object. And when people get so invested in some fictional roles by connecting actresses with the characters they play it is exactly that difference between the object presented and the person presenting it come into play – they are not one and the same, the actress only impersonates someone but it is not actually that person. Sure, everyone understands that and it works on a rational but not emotional level. Therefore I can understand why people, especially fans, get so confused. In my personal example, I can say that it took me some time and work not to confuse the actress with the role she plays. Thus today I can say to myself, this actress is so attractive, mature, her voice is beautiful, her manners and gestures are cute and that is what attracts me not because she plays a lesbian role per se or that she is herself a lesbian. I mean it is great for lesbian representation if she is but if she is not it is okay too because my two ex-lovers and two ex-girlfriends were in straight relationships before we met. What I learned though is that if a woman wasn't in a homosexual relationship before she would want to explore her intimacy, sexuality, and relationship with at least one more woman, therefore I learned that if I was a first girlfriend/lover of a previously straight woman I certainly wasn't her last (partially it was due to my decision for that as well since I broke up with 2 of them). This also proves that if a woman was in a previous straight relationship it really doesn't mean she can't be in a lesbian relationship now! Writers of the show Ici Tout Commence got that right. Today my most important question regarding being invested in an actress is more of a reality check – am I really going to meet this or that actress, is this plausible in reality? Would I want to have all that attention and drama by being with a well-known actress? Thus now I know how to keep the distance, I know which questions to ask myself but before I was searching for clues and facts about actresses current and past relationships to find evidence of her sexual orientation and/or relationship status. In that sense, I used to be like many other lesbian fans invested in finding proofs for actresses' decision to play a lesbian character, like others I thought she chose to play this or that role because she herself was a lesbian or bisexual although she just didn't come out yet. Such behavior was odd because when I met my ex-girlfriends and lovers I wasn't that interested in their past relationships and even odder because I wasn't sure that I was really attracted to an actress (is it really because of her or because of the fictional character she plays which I am aware has no connection to the actress herself?) or that I could be a good match for her. I am pretty realistic, rational, and logical although quite idealistic, creative and altruistic. Let me illustrate by example a behavior of a lesbian fan and how futile that is: I recall frenzy with Katherine Elizabeth McGrath or short Katie McGrath, years of obsessed fans (some even got her telephone numer and home address), assuming her being lesbian while she has had no intention of revealing her sexual orientation to anyone. This should give a clue to her fans that she doesn't give a damn about them and that they can assume whatever they wish but whom she chooses to love and have sex with is her and only her own matter. Most of all, she is probably straight despite playing one lesbian and two bisexual roles. And that is why I think that fans should just leave her and other actresses be or could at least start thinking that playing this or that (lesbian) role is being a job for an actress. Btw, I fumed my admiration for her by writing an actresses' portrait for a Slovenian cinema magazine (December 2020). I can also imagine that if you are not famous you probably can't be choosy and if a lesbian character comes as an offer you take it and that is it! However, as we have on one hand obsessed fans, we have haters about being a lesbian or bisexual actress on the other. I remember derogatory comments of Demi Moore's lesbian romance in the sense, who cares if she suddenly decided to explore sexuality in her 60's or 'oh, she is a lesbian now when she is ugly, old, and with no career'. I recall also derogatory comments about Taylor Schilling's girlfriend Emily Ritz, how ugly and untalented is and therefore she doesn't deserve someone as famous, successful, and beautiful as Schilling is. This is really disrespectful of a woman's choice, affection, and lifestyle. Again, it shows that fans should have no business in actresses' private lives. For all the aforementioned reasons I have never been as obsessed as some fans, at least not to the point to comment on Twitter or Instagram which I don't have anyway, on forums, like L chat or attend events with the actresses (like ClexaCon meetings) or even less searching for their home address or telephone number (I mean who on earth thinks that a famous actress is going to be willing to meet some 'nobody' in her private life? She has her own friends, family, and colleagues, why would she meet her fan in private time?). I also don't like when an actress/-ess are idolized as some sort of godess/-es – she's/they're just a regular human/-s albeit mostly very good-looking, attractive, and with great acting skills. As an atheist, I also think that idolizing someone as a goddess means that instead of acknowledging someone's great knowledge, skills and talent we diminish or omit them by substituting them with an imaginary person. If intellectuals were treated with such idolizations and media would follow and spread the news about them every day people would know, adored, and love them as well. As you can conclude, I am fully aware that actresses are not their characters and they are most certainly different in person. But I am truly happy and proud if I get an actress, intellectual or politician which I really want for an interview. Lately, my focus is on straight French actress Catherine Marchal who plays Claire in Ici tout commence. I already sent an interview inquiry. I am going to be really happy if I get a positive reply. But then again, who am I? 'Nobody'? Perhaps but on the other hand I published (look at bibliography) 9 scientific or professional books, was project leader of 3 scientific researches, published over 30 scientific articles in Slovenia and abroad, published article in the International Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy (IEP), over 30 professional articles, over 100 popular articles, edited 20 collections of texts, proof-read several books, translated over 40 scientific articles and 2 EU projects, made several documentaries, making a feature film, participated in the multimedia projects, wrote a part of the political programme on educational and social topic for The Slovenian Youth Party – European Greens who was in parliament in 2000, made 25 interviews from 20 countries and more. However, it is not only about my intellectual and professional achievements, it is also about my other activities in the area of ecology, feminism, elderly, animal, worker, LGBT rights, gifts and small donations to the organizations throughout the world. So why would I not assume to get a positive reply from a well-known or famous actress, politician, philosopher or scientist?
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Katarina Majerholdphilsopher, lesbian, editor Archives
May 2023
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