Power lesbian dressing style5/17/2023 Over the past decade we have seen a number of celebrities who think they are important, or even worthy of news coverage, when they 'dress in the rainbow flag' and make some not so well-defined statements, such as Jennifer Lawrence's statement that she likes to dress as a 'slutty power lesbian' (Glamour, 2016) or Johnny's Depp teenage daughter Lily Rose's identification as sexually fluid (Elle, 2016). Well, I'm sorry, girls, women, gal and ladies, to say that I'm not so impressed by such statements and I don't see how they can contribute to a positive image of lesbians and bisexual women. For me, being slutty in connection with power means that it gives an even stronger (negative) impression that lesbians are promiscuous, non-monogamous and have a 'hunger for power'. It is enough to call women with offensive attributes 'sluts', 'whores' and 'bitches', but to use such a phrase as Lawrence did was like saying that lesbians are usually non-monogamous, slutty and unreliable in terms of fidelity, and that they gain their power by seducing other women through their explicit sexuality. On the other hand, we can applaud Lawrence for bravely speaking out (and expressing her anger) about the pay gap between female and male actors in Hollywood. Such statements have a far more positive effect on women, regardless of age, status and sexual orientation. And if she somehow made such a public statement after some new experience in her life that made her more confident, liberated and empowered about her own gender role and sexuality, for example because of a current lesbian relationship, she should have said it as bravely as she did about the pay gap, but she didn't because she didn't have any. We have had enough of these negative portrayals and we have had to put up with them for far too long. I believe that such negative stereotypes must stop and we must be seen as ethical, faithful and reliable partners as heterosexual women. In contrast to Lawrence, LGBT activists said of Lily Rose Depp decision to come out in 2015: "It's still unclear where on the spectrum she falls, but fellow activists have applauded her decision to use her personal experience to help others come to terms with their sexuality".This year, she confirmed on her Instagram (May 2023) that she is dating a Danielle Balbuena, aka rapper Shake 070.
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Lesbian Tv Representation Over The Years5/13/2023 Lesbian representation on television has undergone significant changes over the years, reflecting broader cultural shifts in attitudes towards homosexuality. From being almost completely absent from mainstream media in the early days of television to more recent times where we see more nuanced and complex portrayals of lesbian characters, the journey has been long and challenging. In the early days of television, depictions of lesbian characters were few and far between. In the 1950s and 1960s, television shows tended to adhere to strict societal norms, and homosexuality was seen as taboo. Lesbian characters were often portrayed as deviant or troubled individuals, and their relationships were typically portrayed as destructive or doomed to fail. One example of this is the character of Alice in the popular show The Brady Bunch. Alice was portrayed as a spinster, and the show's creators never explicitly acknowledged her sexuality, but many viewers picked up on subtle hints that suggested she was a lesbian. The 1970s and 1980s saw some positive changes in the representation of lesbians on television. Shows like Laverne and Shirley, Kate and Allie, and Cagney & Lacey featured strong female leads, including some who were lesbians. While these shows didn't depict romantic relationships between women, they did provide positive role models for young women and helped to normalize the idea of women living together. The 1990s saw a significant increase in the representation of lesbians on television. Shows like Ellen and Roseanne featured prominent lesbian characters, and these shows tackled issues of coming out and same-sex relationships in a more direct and open way. However, these shows also faced significant backlash from conservative groups who saw them as promoting homosexuality. The early 2000s saw a proliferation of shows featuring lesbian characters, including The L Word, which was the first show to feature an almost entirely lesbian cast. The L Word was groundbreaking in its depiction of lesbian relationships and sexuality because the characters were multidimensional, complex, and not defined solely by their sexuality. They also explored the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, such as discrimination and homophobia. After that, we have seen an increase in the number of shows featuring lesbian characters who are not defined solely by their sexuality. Shows like Orange is the New Black, Wynonna Earp, and One Day at a Time have featured complex, fully-realized lesbian characters who are integral to the plot of the show. These characters are no longer relegated to minor or supporting roles but are instead given prominent storylines and character arcs. However, lesbian representation in TV shows has become even more prevalent in recent years, with shows like Station 19, Ginny and Georgia, Warrior Nun, and NCIS Hawaii featuring lesbian characters in significant roles. Station 19, a spin-off of Grey's Anatomy, features a lesbian character named Maya Bishop, who is a firefighter and paramedic. Maya's sexuality is not the central focus of her character, but rather a part of her identity, and the show explores her relationship with her wife, Carina DeLuca, in a healthy and positive manner. The show also touches on the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community in traditionally male-dominated fields, such as firefighting. Ginny and Georgia, a coming-of-age dramedy, features a teenage lesbian character named Maxine Baker. Maxine is portrayed as a confident and self-assured young woman, and her relationship with her girlfriend, Norah, is depicted as a normal part of teenage life. The show also touches on the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ youth, such as bullying and discrimination. Warrior Nun, a fantasy drama, features in first season a lesbian character named Shotgun Mary, who is a member of an ancient order of warrior nuns. Mary's sexuality is not a central focus of her character, but rather a part of her identity, and the show explores her relationship with her ex-girlfriend, Lilith, in a complex and nuanced manner. In second season the main character Ava declares her love for her fellow warrion nun Beatrice. The show also touches on the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in conservative religious communities. NCIS Hawaii, a police procedural, features a lesbian character named Lucy, who is the first female Special Agent in Charge of the NCIS Pearl Harbor office. Lucy's sexuality is not the central focus of her character, but rather a part of her identity, and the show explores her relationship with her girlfriend Kate, who is also a member of the FBI. The show also touches on the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the special forces. Despite these positive changes, lesbian representation on television still faces significant challenges. For example, lesbian characters are often subjected to violence or discrimination on television, and they are still sometimes portrayed as one-dimensional stereotypes. However, overall, the representation of lesbians on television has come a long way, and we can expect to see even more positive changes in the years to come. What do I Expect and What I am Working on in 2023/Kaj pričakujem in na čem delam v letu 20231/19/2023 I hadn't checked in for a while, mainly because I needed to sort out my thoughts, feelings and actions to change my life and steer it in a direction or path that was consistent with my atheistic and scientific worldview. Namely, for a long time, for reasons unknown to me, I was associated with all sorts of religion, new age and nostalgia.
In that sense, I can say that series His Dark Materials has pleasantly surprised me with its correct portrayal of the delusions of religion with its appeal to some (heavenly) Authority, its misconceptions about the original sin of the first woman (and those of us who have ever been in contact with such people know the fallacy of their fanaticism and what they are willing to do in the name of their beliefs and also how they use children for their own purposes), arrogance of the new-age concept of the angelic realm lead by Metatron (those of us who have ever been in contact with those who define themselves in this way have had unpleasant experiences with truly arrogant, authoritative and unempathic people) and the spectres (the ghosts of the past who, like 'monsters', suck the energy of people in the present, bullying them and not allowing them to live freely in the present.). The 'despotism and tirany' of all three (i.e. religion, spectres and Metatron) can only be properly countered by science and determination. The series also correctly identified the fallacy of the nun profession, as there is no one to reward good women or to reprimand bad women and who live such a life without erotic love, and how the feeling of love is important regardless of gender and sexual orientation. I realised once again how important this is and that I am lonely, single and alone and that I want friendships and new partnership. So first, at the beginning of January 2023, I renewed my friendship with just one ex-uni classmate and his partner; I made one brand new friendship, and the day before yesterday I finally contacted my once (and until today, by my criteria) best friend to renew my friendship with her. In January 2023, I paid my first memberships fee on various dating portals (I haven't met any interesting women who really caught my attention yet although met with two), but I'm working towards getting a partner. I also started working on my new projects, from a new book, new translation of the book, proof-reading of the novels to organizing and leading a symposium and editing. And finally I started to read fiction and non-fiction books again to learn something interesting or to renew a thought or awareness, to complete something or even to disprove an 'old' belief based on the new knowledge. From now on, I may write a review of a book, not just a series or a film. Otherwise, I had a pretty good 2022, although from one point of view I started 2023 less optimistic than the previous years although I have done all that I could in 2022 and in the previous years (in fact, I never lacked of optimism but I started 2023 without optimism in one area and I didn't feel like that since 2009. I am quite devastated and sad about that. I will also talk about this in one of the following posts). Kaj pričakujem in na čem delam v letu 2023 Nekaj časa se nisem javila, predvsem zato, ker sem morala urediti svoje misli, čustva in dejanja, s katerimi sem želela spremeniti svoje življenje in ga usmeriti v smer ali na pot, ki je skladen z mojim ateističnim, znanstvenim svetovnim nazorom. Namreč, dolgo časa se me je, iz meni neznanih razlogov, povezovalo . V tem smislu lahko rečem, da me je nanizanka His Dark Materials prijetno presentila s pravilnim prikazom zablod religije s sklicevanjem se na neko (nebeško) Avtoriteto, napačnimi predstavami o izvirnem grehu prve ženske (in tisti, ki smo bili kdajkoli v stiku s takšnimi, poznamo zgrešenost njihovega fanatizma in kaj vse so ti pripravljeni v imenu svojega prepričanja početi tistim, ki v to ne verjamejo ter tudi kako v svoje namene uporabljajo otroke), nadutim new-agerskim pojmovanjem angelske sfere z Metatronom na čelu (tisti, ki smo bili kdajkoli v stiku s temi, ki se tako opredeljujejo, imamo neprijetne izkušnje z resnično arogantnimi, nadutimi in neempatičnimi ljudmi) in spektri (duhovi preteklosti, ki kot 'monstrumi' sesajo energijo ljudem v sedanjosti, jih ustrahujejo in jim ne pustijo svobodno živeti v sedanjosti. Biti moramo močni, da se jim ne pustimo ustrahovati in živimo neodvisno od njih). Proti 'despotizmu in tiranizmu' vseh treh (tj. religiji, spektrom in Metatronu) se lahko pravilno zoperstavimo le z znanostjo in odločenostjo. Prav tako je nanizanka pravilno opredelila zgrešenost poklica nune, saj ni nikogar, ki bi nagradil pridne ženske ali grajal slabe ženske in ki povrhu živijo takšno življenje brez (erotične) ljubezni in kako je občutje ljubezni ne glede na spol in spolno usmerjenost pomembno. Tudi sama sem se še enkrat zavedala kako je omenjeno pomembno in se zavedala, da sem osamljena, samska in samotna ter da si želim prijateljstev in nove partnerske zveze. Tako sem najprej na začetku januarja 2023 obnovila prijateljstvo le z enim bivšim sošolcem s faksa in njegovo partnerko, vzpostavila sem eno povsem novo prijateljstvo in predvčeraj končno kontaktirala nekoč (in do danes po mojih kriterijih) najboljšo prijateljico, da bi z njo obnovila prijateljstvo. Januarja 2023 sem prvič plačala članarino na različnih zmenkarskih portalih (sicer zaenkrat še nisem srečala nobene zanimive ženske, ki bi zares pritegnila mojo pozornost), a vseeno delam v smeri pridobivanja partnerke. In končno sem začela ponovno brati leposlovne in neleposlovne knjige, ampak da bi kaj zanimivega izvedela ali da bi kakšno misel, zavedanje obnovila, kaj dopolnila ali tudi kakšno 'staro' prepričanje na podlagi novega znanja ovrgla. Od zdaj naprej bom napisala recenzijo tudi kakšne knjige, ne le nanizanke ali filma. Sicer pa sem imela precej dobro 2022, čeprav sem iz enega vidika začela leto 2023 manj optimistično kakor leta poprej (pravzaprav še nisem bila tako deprimirana in še nisem leta začela tako deprimerano po letu 2009, kakor letos. O tem bom prav tako spregovorila v enem od naslednjih objav). The Art Of Lovemaking In Different Cultures Over Time Richard Shusterman: Ars Erotica, Sex and Somaesthetics in the Classical Arts of Love Cambridge University Press, 2021, 436 pages Richard Shusterman says at the beginning of the book that his aim is to show the methods and techniques of erotic love or sexual love, which acquires the name of the art of lovemaking in connection with the concepts of love. The art of love as expressed by Latin ars (art) and Greek eros (love) is best represented by Ovid’s ars amatoria,1 while the term ars erotica is of recent origin, coined by Michel Foucault in History of Sexuality, where he distinguished between Western studies of scientia sexualis and non-Western knowledge of sexuality as the ars erotica. But in applying the term ars erotica, Shusterman does not mean only one type of the art of lovemaking, but a series of different ars erotica that spans through different historical periods and geographical areas. But in fact, the purpose of the book is to answer three main questions: 1) In what way can ars erotica be appreciated (and performed) from the point of view of the aesthetics of art? In what way is ars erotica also truly aesthetic, which is why theorists have called it the art of lovemaking and tried to explain it that way. For it is good to be aware that knowledge and experience of ars erotica go beyond the physical contact of foreplay and sexual intercourse, as this includes the knowledge of how to dress and seduce; how to dance, sing or play an instrument; how to walk, eat, drink and gesture in a refined way; how to convincingly write or recite love poetry, a love letter or how to properly equip a bedroom. In addition to music, painting, poetry, and dance theory ars erotica also emphasizes knowledge of flower arrangements, interior design (especially bedrooms), fashion (including jewelry), cuisine, cosmetics, creating and mixing perfumes. »Key aesthetic feature of ars erotica is its emphasis on beauty and pleasure rather than mere utility. While sex obviously has an essential reproductive function, ars erotica’s prime focus is typically on enjoying lovemaking for its own sake (in terms of its sensory pleasures and expressive feelings and meanings) rather than for the production of children or some other external end or product« (p. 5). Fine arts add an important atmosphere and lead to intercourse but even when it comes to intercourse ars erotica emphasizes how we perform it by offering numerous techniques for maximization of its effect. 2) How can ars erotica be used as a means of self-cultivation and ethics; to enrich ourselves and others? Ars erotica is one of the means of educating our humanity, an ameliorative method of self-care, which at the same time means respect for others, first for our erotic partners, and more broadly for society and its customs. In addition to sensory and emotional learning, ars erotica promotes ethical learning in the following ways: when we engage in sexual intercourse with someone, it requires us to know certain norms, rules, and values that apply to both seduction and sexuality in a particular culture. This means we know what types of sex are illegal or immoral, e.g. sexual intercourse with a person under the age of 14, with parents, kin (incest), or what types of sexual intercourse may be considered taboo in a particular culture. To be attractive to others, it is not enough to be fit, attractive, fashionably dressed, wearing perfume »but also the allure of a winning personality worthy of esteem and a character endowed with valued virtues that make one a desirable partner«. (p. 12) The theories of ars erotica therefore specifically devote education to expressing attention, respect, generosity, understanding, and trust, which makes someone attractive, while teaching us how to assess the character of others and discover moral flaws such as inattention, stinginess, ignorance, and manipulation. Finally, ars erotica offers a path to scientific knowledge, especially regarding our bodies and the bodies of others. 3) How does its characteristic formation of biological functions and somatic energies reflect (and preserve) cultural ideologies and social order so that the seemingly universal sex drive takes on different forms and meanings both between different cultures and within the same culture in different periods and places? One of the arguments of the book is that the purpose of the technique and discipline of the traditional art of lovemaking was not only to increase sexual pleasure but also to provide certain aesthetic pleasures and ethical virtues to improve interpersonal relationships and relationship with the divine. In other words, such art sought to provide an aesthetic education that, by developing character, taste sensitivity, and interpersonal consciousness could contribute to what many consider to be the highest art of all: the art of living. And in order to show all this, Shusterman classifies each of the world's ars erotica into chapters, and in each chapter, he first presents the historical, social, cosmological/religious, and political aspects that fundamentally influenced the formation of a particular ars erotica. In certain places where Shusterman deems it appropriate, he also incorporates the thoughts and insights of Michel Foucault from his book The History of Sexuality (1-3), which he says has greatly influenced him. Shusterman first introduces ars erotica in ancient Greece. Eros was distinctly aesthetic to the Greeks because it inspired art and mutually served as an artistic creation, while ars erotica included aesthetic pleasures of meaning and form, not just raw bodily sensation. The practice of symposia illustrates the key role of art in the Athenian ars erotica, where music and dance were essential elements for creating an erotic mood. Musicians and dancers, both men and women, were there mainly for the purpose of arousing the erotic desire of the participants, and it often happened that the participants also had sexual intercourse with them. Hence the reputation of flutists as prostitutes. In this respect, Plato's Symposium was unique in that it did not include any such sensuality from the outset, participants »abandoned interest in the flutist,« »refrained from [usually] heavy drinking,« and instead devoted themselves to the entertainment of improvisational oratorio and »conversations« on love (p. 49), but nevertheless Plato's Symposium nicely shows that love and lovemaking in ancient Greek society has always been associated with beauty, procreation, as well as learning and striving for divine heights and that in this sense the ancient Greeks divided love into sensual, earthly, which was heterosexual and focused on procreation, and mental, spiritual, which was homosexual and focused on pleasure, education and divine. But the essential connection of sexual desire with beauty and not just with the physical instinct or reproduction encourages ars erotica to focus on aesthetic values, creative expression (poetry, drama, sculpture, vase paintings) and ethical self-cultivation and self-care. ... Athenian aristocracy tended to associate [Eros] with nobility and virtue (construed as an ethical beauty of character and refinement that implied intelligence and integrity) … This proved particularly evident in pederastic love, demanding a delicate, aesthetically sensitive ars erotica of courtship and consummation. Sexually attracted to the beloved’s youthful beauty but also to his noble character, the older erastes sought intimate physical contact with the eromenos yet had to pursue it by respecting and even improving his beloved’s character and reputation. (p. 44) Regarding the role of women: as already mentioned, Athenian eroticism was distinctly aesthetic in emphasizing pleasure over functionality: but this was only true in the case of heterosexual women who were not wives, i.e. hetaera (for women whose function was to provide healthy offspring, ars erotica was limited in its aesthetic freedom and diversity, and for men it was primarily intended for health and self-cultivation). Because hetaera's highly regarded services and affections (hetaeras were educated in art, rethoric and some even philosophy) and were not for sale, Athenian upper class men had to earn them with rhetorical skills, knowledge of art, expensive gifts and competition with other suitors. The main Greek philosophical traditions continued in the Roman times, but with some adaptations. They increasingly followed Plato's condemnation of infertile homosexuality in Laws and The Republic and focused on heterosexuality, with Roman wedding art including an increasing emphasis on the personal relationship between husband and wife became a norm. »By combining the satisfactions of erotic love with those of virtuous friendship, marriage constitutes the most pleasurable and beautiful of unions«, as Plutarch suggests (p. 84) and married women enjoyed more freedom and rights than married women in ancient Greece. We have no ars erotica in Judaism and Christianity. In its monotheistic religion, which emphasizes strict reproduction as God's commandment »Be fruitful and multiply ...« (p. 101) Judaism has strongly condemned adultery, mixed marriages, and homosexuality because they are geared towards enjoyment for the sake of enjoyment itself. The Hebrews were strict about this, just as they were strict against any mixing with other religions and gods (p. 93-109). Needless to say, this is also a distinctly misogynistic religion that cultivates no respect for women, and therefore Adam does not need to be polite, wise, beautiful, rich, gallant or courteous in order to 'mate' with a woman and thus conceive offspring. There is no art of lovemaking among the Hebrews. The only way to seduce was often wine and rarely clothes. Other ways are mentioned, such as the seductive charms of foreigners, which the Old Testament condemns and are not only associated with the use of wine but also with other means of erotic deception that seem distinctly aesthetic using sophisticated sensual pleasures and the beauties of art. In short, among the Hebrews, erotic pleasure was never considered a goal that was in itself valuable or essential to the sexual goal of reproduction. Erotic experience in the Old Testament was also not seen as a means of self-cultivation, a way to strengthen to self-care, sensitivity and care for others, as was the case with the ancient Greeks and Romans. Christianity was even worse off as it increased the scope of sexual prohibitions. Christianity (mostly under the influence of Neoplatonism) has evolved in the direction of what might be called asexual divine eroticism, where sexuality represents a domain that in itself seems impure. Even more important was the Christian degradation of human eroticism from the divinely privileged universal commandment of procreation to the second best compromise for those who cannot carry out the higher life of celibacy exemplified by Jesus and proclaimed by Paul. »'It is good for a man not to touch a woman,' claims the apostle in his First Epistle to the Corinthians. 'Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband,' and let them show 'benevolence' in giving each other reciprocal 'power' or use of their own bodies« (p. 121). Paul held that the partnership was clearly worse than celibacy because it included desires and pleasures of the flesh, as he claims that flesh is not for the unholy, but for the Lord. The Christian ideal is therefore the kingdom of heaven, and this, unlike the Hebrews, did not require new births (i.e., no sex or marriage) and there is also no aesthetics. Interestingly, however, as we will point out a little later that beauty and attractiveness have been attributed precisely to the emphasis on non-aesthetic aspects. In the Chinese ars erotica, Shusterman first mentions Foucault's erroneous belief that it was primarily a matter of promoting pleasure for the sake of pleasure itself. Shusterman points out that Foucault's mistake was based on China's promotion of sex with more than one woman in one night which Foucault mistakenly thought was for pleasure, but it was primarily for health reasons, as the ancient Chinese believed men as the yang energy rejuvenate with women's yin through sexual intercourse and that Daoist cosmogeny is thus re-created. And the more sex they had, the more qi or life energy men got, which helped them maintain health, physical strength, vitality, and well-being. Shusterman also supports this by saying that texts on ars erotica were placed immediately after and in connection with medical books. So Chinese ars erotica was aimed primarily at health, procreating healthy offspring, and maintaining the youthful appearance and well-being of men. Based on this, the legendary Chinese Yellow Emperor or Huangdi (2.7-2.5 century BC), who had 1.200 wives and concubines while ordinary nobles and generals had »thirty or more«, even achieved the status of deity. As a ruling eminence, the Yellow Emperor also strengthened his attractiveness with various impressive aesthetic means, such as luxurious gilded and silk dresses, jewelry, court dancers, flutists, very attractive concubines, and courtesans, and special musical and poetic performances to create an attractive erotic atmosphere. For the Japanese ars erotica, the main source of inspiration was the Chinese ars erotica of the Tang dynasty. Within the tradition of the Heian dynasty of culture (8–12 C.E.), it is interesting that it is actually the only period where female ars erotica dominates, mainly in the form of letters, diaries and various arts such as poetry, stories and love letters, written, for example, by Lady Murasaki, Lady Sarashina, and others. This Japanese court culture combined the Confucian aesthetics of artistic refinement and decoration with a Buddhist reverence for the indefinite and the fleeting, embodied by the fleeting splendor of cherry blossoms. The crucial quality of the Heian aesthetic, in love as in everything, was a refined elegance that the Japanese identified as the ideal of miyabi … The first is a total lack of explicit sexual content and hardly a mention of physical contact in accounts of lovemaking; there is no discussion of foreplay, no classification or even mention of genital parts and their amatory uses, let alone coital positions ... Instead, the stages of courtship and seductive foreplay (but also the continuing technique of sustaining erotic desire throughout an extended affair) proceed through poetry, calligraphy, and music. This signals a second key element of Heian lovemaking: the centrality of the arts. Artistic knowledge and talent (with correspondingly refined aesthetic taste) could win and keep a lover; its lack could lose one (p. 293). Like the courtly love of the Heian period, the Japanese tradition of male homoeroticism originated in China. Japanese nanshoku was primarily men’s love for boys (chigo), reminiscent of Greek pederasty. This ars erotica developed primarily in Buddhist temples, where young boys worked as assistants and as a kind of »sexual servant« to senior monks or members of aristocratic households. In exchange for serving his masters, however, chigo received knowledge of music, dance, and classical literature. In samurai, however, homoeroticism was often associated with violence. Instead of focusing solely on male intercourse (which was only a small and not always necessary part of the erotic equation), bushido developed a comprehensive discipline of self-cultivation focused on virtue, loyalty, honor, and duty. In this sense, the lovers pledged to be faithful to each other and willingly sacrificed for each other, even through acts of self-harm. The third form of classical Japanese ars erotica is best known for the most influential Japanese visual genre ukiyo and drama kabuki, Kabuki originated in Kyoto (around 1603 AD) with daring songs and dance performances by a courtesan – Kabuke who with role of a dandy visiting a brothel caused an immediate sensation and countless imitations and on the basis of which the drama Kabuki emerged. The institution of elite courtesans/geishas who were not for sex was another import from the Chinese Tang dynasty. »Indeed, the artistic emphasis on the pleasures of social and cultural intercourse made the sex act almost incidental. The arts that made courtesans erotic magnets included not only music, dance, and song but also calligraphy, tea ceremony, poetry, and the art of identifying incense by fragrance ... These artistic gifts along with a courtesan’s wit, elegant manners, good taste, and compassionate thoughtfulness were more important than beauty for gaining her the high status of tayu«. (p. 309) Shusterman continues with Indian ars erotica based on the Kamasutra (1st century AD), although Natyaśastra (2nd century BC) already links courtesan to theatre as the main artistic text. This work, which also includes music and dance beside theatre, serves as the foundational text of all Indian aesthetics and confirms that »... erotic is 'rich in pleasure' because 'happiness has its source in women [and] the enjoyment' they provide.« (p. 216) In this way, by emphasizing erotic pleasure in conjunction with aesthetics such as dance, music, and drama, Natyaśastra helped shaping the aesthetic aspect of Kamastura a century before its inception. The distinctly aesthetic character of Indian ars erotica is clearly expressed in its emphasis on role-playing and the pleasures of acting with the aim to preserve the marital union and its harmony by maintaining sexual attraction between the spouses and thus the wider social stability. But not only that, by maintaining a rich relationship between partners, ars erotica also prevented polygamy, adultery, and various forms of evil. Indian ars erotica was also aware that sexual power and its energy can promote learning therefore it includes aesthetic, cognitive, psychological, practical and even divine aspects. As we can read in the Kamasutra: 'Luck in love comes [not from mere luck but] from learning the arts'; through their mastery a beautiful courtesan 'wins the title of Courtesan de Luxe,' while 'a man who is accomplished in these arts . . . finds the way to women's hearts right away' … For the Kamasutra proclaims its true goal is not the satisfaction of sexual desire and other sensual pleasures, but rather to refine one’s capacities and master one’s senses to become a better person. This is initially 'for the sake of worldly life' until one is ready to advance to the later stage of renunciation and release from worldly existence. (p. 221) Aesthetic cultivation through art is key to such sensual sophistication and mastery. Which means that the Indian emphasis on role-playing and imitation of theater skills in terms of theatrum mundi also has a touch of divine romance: it relies on the idea of acting and duplicating oneself in role-playing; the lover is one such role, not the true identity of the true self. Which means that the ideal of penetrating beneath the changing appearances and roles of empirical existence is to realize that the true self is essentially one with the highest divine principle (Atman is Brahman). Such blissful, blessed union is described in strikingly erotic terms: 'As a man fully embraced by his beloved wife knows nothing that is without, nothing that is within, so does this infinite being (the self ) when fully embraced by the Supreme Self, know nothing that is without, nothing that is within'. (p. 248) When talking about Muslim ars erotica he points out that this is the only religion where God commands sexuality and sexual pleasure »Evident in the very notion of mut’ah stands Islam’s unwavering recognition of sexual desire as an irrepressibly natural, powerful, positive drive, and of sexual satisfaction as an overwhelming God-given delight that is valuable in itself rather than merely a means to promote health, friendship, or family ties and progeny.« (p. 256) But pleasure is not just a right, sexuality is a legal obligation. Even if a husband is devoted solely to God and chastity, this does not mean that he can neglect the duty of sexuality he has towards his wife, even though the wife’s duties in sexuality are much stricter. As the prophet explains: »'If a woman spends the night forsaking her husband’s bed, the Angels will curse her' and God 'will be angry with her'« (p. 257). Men can have up to four wives but they can not have a married woman which is punishable with death. »Finally, the Quran suggests the divine quality of erotic pleasure by making it central to the heavenly rewards of Paradise, where one 'reclines with bashful virgins whom neither man nor jinee will have touched before, ... virgins chaste and fair, dark-eyed virgins sheltered in their tents' ...« (str. 257) Because of its important role lovemaking should be cultivated and taught. It »should also be the duty of scholars to initiate people into all that gives rise to it, strengthens it and increases it, not to mention God’s commandment to practice it and the prophets’ urging people to observe it« (p. 273) But because Muslim law commanded polygamy, and because Muslims, like the ancient Greeks, believed that women were more lustful than men, they were even more dominant and violent toward women than elsewhere. One aspect of taming women's attractiveness and lust, however, was their concealment through veil. The aesthetic aspect of ars erotica referred to the knowledge of poetry, the physical beauty of the body and face, and the fragrance, which contributed significantly to the pleasure and art of lovemaking. They even had a book on coital positions and sexual techniques as an art of lovemaking based on Hindu book but it was lost. After finishing reading, we can say that Shusterman's book is undoubtedly a thorough academic study of ars erotica through history, but for the general or laic reader it is too detailed and relies too heavily on quotes from the most important authors throughout history to be interesting and appealing, at the same time, it contributes little to the curiosity in terms of debate regarding certain concepts of the art of lovemaking for the academic reader. We get lost in the accurate presentation of the basic concepts of ars erotica with too many quotations (there are certainly over a thousand of them) and there are too few personal insights of the author to make the book interesting for such readers. It is true that Shusterman can be credited with his feminist awareness – he repeatedly mentions in the introduction that the topic and texts he deals with are distinctly misogynistic towards women, but he can not really do more than that, because throughout the book female thinkers about ars erotica appear in only three cases: in the presentation of the text of the Italian courtesan Tullie d'Aragona, in the short quotations of the Japanese courtier Lady Murasaki, and in the short presentation of Su Nu, the Chinese goddess of war and sex. There are no other mentions of female authors and very rarely ars erotica is presented with a female point of view therefore it is book written almost entirely from male perspective which is rather dissapointing yet pointing at reality that female pleasure and health was a very minor concern of ars erotica throughout history. Shusterman is also sensitive to the topic of homosexuality – of course, as the entire ancient Greek and partly Roman culture is imbued with it, but at the same time he does not forget to mention Chinese male homosexuality and Japanese nanoshoku and samurai. He also mentions Muslim example of love of elder men towards boys, although the Qur'an strictly forbids homosexuality and, last but not least, he also mentions a few homosexual men in Renaissance. The most interesting part of the book is its final part, but in fact it is only the last few pages where the author for the first time proposes his position that ars erotica as the art of lovemaking ended when the notion of beauty, which was throughout and from the beginning of Greco-Hellenic culture associated with Eros (and the goddess Aphrodite/Venus), ceased to be associated with erotic attraction and became an independent philosophical discipline called aesthetics, which deals exclusively with the cognitive aspects of beauty. To this end, he offers us some quotes from Shaftesbury, Baumgarten, Kant ad Schopenhauer, with which he wants to support this personal thought, but does not develop it further, because he says that it goes beyond the purpose of this book. For instance, he cites Shaftesbury: »Beauty, to maintain its ennobling spiritual quality and edifying uplift, had to forsake the erotic with its impure sensuality and passion for possessive union ... Schopenhauer draws the contrast of erotic and aesthetic experience still more sharply and explicitly, linking the latter to the bodiless beauty of Platonic ideas.« (p. 400-401) What seems worthwhile, and which is why we mentioned Shusterman’s hypothesis, is its significance for the present. Namely, we seem to live in a time of obsession with beauty, where beauty is strongly associated with sex appeal and as undoubtedly one of the main causes of attraction and choice of a partner. But in contrast to, say, ancient Greco-Hellenistic times, today it seems as if all other factors and characteristics of a person, such as intellectual and aesthetic education, are in the background compared to physical beauty. Beauty is not related to the aesthetic qualites (writing poems, love letters, playing an instrument etc.) or beauty as a virtue of a person’s character. In relation to beauty, it could also be polemical if Shusterman, for example, focused on the fact that it is asceticism that creates beauty and sexiness, which is characteristic of some ars erotica. It is interesting that in Christianity a virgin woman who dresses in a monastic style dress without any ornaments, accessories, fragrances and is simple in her behavior and speech, represents the highest level of beauty and attractiveness and that even if a virgin is not physically beautiful, her inner purity brightens her exterior and makes her beautiful. Plato also spoke about this when he wrote that although Socrates was physically ugly, he was considered the sexiest because of his divine insights. He displayed ascetic quality when he did not respond to sexual offers, for instance by Alcibiades, which made him even more attractive. Even Shiva, the Indian god and master of spiritual asceticism, who initially renounces all sexuality until Kama was ordered by Brahma to be seduced by Parvati, becomes a symbol of sexual power. His masterful devotion to purity (tapas) gives him a stunning power of attraction, as ascetic spirituality radiated a highly admired aura of attraction and represented a special reward for women who wanted to conquer ascetics to prove their seductive power (p. 207). In the same manner Chinese daoist, Zhunagzi writes in chapter on The Sign of Virtue Complete about about an ugly men named Ai Taito: No one ever heard him take the lead – he always just chimed in with other people. He wasn’t in the position of a ruler where he could save men’s lives, and he had no store of provisions to fill men’s bellies. On top of that, he was ugly enough to astound the whole world ... And yet men and women flocked to him. This is because, despite physical ugliness, Ai Taito radiated with perfect harmony the inner power or virtue that animates the body, which is what people really love and desire when they are attracted to another human’s body ... (p. 175) It would also be interesting to argue about contradictory notions of sexuality in relation to divinity and thus relativize these notions: if celibacy was commanded as the highest goal in Christianity and God was defined as asexual, not procreating at all, in China they are in complete opposition. thereby defining the deity with The Yellow Emperor, who had 1,200 women and concubines, and where celibacy was defined as something unnatural and illogical. But while Chinese ars erotica has distinctly focused on the health and genealogical aspect of ars erotica, Indian ars erotica is also relaxed and inclusive in terms of variety, playfulness, and indulgence in the pursuit of the divine, but the only one from God commanded sexual pleasure and reward of heavenly pleasures, is Muslim ars erotica. »In stark contrast to celibate prophets such as Jesus or Jeremiah, Muhammad enjoyed a very varied sex life. Sources suggest that he had about ten wives and at least four beautiful concubines.« (p. 257) Undoubtedly, the book is recommended to all those who want to learn in this field as »the beginners«, as it is an extremely erudite presentation of the already mentioned ars erotica concepts, which are related not only to the concepts of love but also to religion, cosmogeny, politics, history and especially aesthetics. Shusterman presents all of the above perfectly and extremely credibly, and this kind of reader can completely trust him to be in excellent hands. At last but not least, I wouldn't recommond this book to a feminist reader. On this planet, women had almost no influential role in love and the art of making love (unless they were mostly heteras or courtesans, i.e. paid mistresses to important men in one way or another). It seems quite incredible that in more than two thousand year history of ars erotica there is not a single famous lesbian or feminist author. And then people say that I'm exaggerating or imagining things when I say that lesbians and even feminists are the most overlooked, ignored and marginalized group of people on this planet. 1 Ovid writes: »'Be nice' because good looks 'never suffice . . . Tactful kindness is the key' ... Be generous in giving compliments, but material 'gifts . . . [get] pride of place'« (p. 91 He also claims that erotic value of knowledge »... is essential for the good lover, both in courting and in keeping the beloved by providing pleasures of beauty that transcend raw sensuality and require aesthetic taste and expertise … Ovid’s advice to women regarding the arts of somatic style goes well beyond cosmetics and grooming ... He explains what makes for attractive style in walking, talking, gesturing, laughing, crying, drinking, and eating. This beautifies not only the woman but the whole situation in which the erotic drama occurs … He also advises lover to 'Know yourself'. Only the man who knows himself can be intelligent in love and use his gifts to best effect to further every move ... Let the man with a good voice 'sing,' and the handsome man 'dazzle' with his looks ... Women, too, must acquire and deploy self-knowledge in order to display themselves to greater aesthetic advantage – by both hiding their 'body’s faults' and highlighting their advantages (p. 92-93) How Long Does It Take to 'Meet' Your Love? I found myself thinking that Rebel Wilson is no rebel as she reveals herself in discovering the beautiful landscapes of the female mind, heart, body, and all that is feminine. I also do not think that she surprised anyone when she decided for a journey into the realm of the female and feminine, least of all herself. I would certainly have loved to have met her and gotten to know when she found out she was attracted to women too. Perhaps she has always known this, as her confession to a friend that she was not in love before she met the Latvian lawyer and fashion designer Ramona Agruma might suggest? But why (right) now - Ramona? I can't help thinking of Ramones' Supergirl song, "I got home late last night ...". Rebel has finally come 'home' with Ramona and feels like, "You can tell by the way she walks that she's my girl. You can tell by the way she talks, she rules the world. You can see in her eyes that no one is her chain. She's my girl, my supergirl". Mhm, Rebel (maybe) feels exactly like that - because she has revealed her 'girl' to the whole world because she is so much in love with her, and she 'rules' her world. Even before no one wanted to reveal her love for Ramona to the whole world, Rebel didn't hide her love from anyone, she just chose not to share it on social media and in the media in general. Because who really knows that social networks are not networks socially, even though their very name reveals that they are 'social'. What most people do not know is that the name 'social network' refers to a dimension of the social order that is capitalist and that technology companies are the engine of capitalism, which was revealed by a journalist who wanted to reveal in the media that the Rebel loves a woman and therefore wanted to make money. But Rebel decided to resist and she took things into her own hands and now decides when and how much she wants to reveal her love. Rebel loves in a way 'her-self', not the other. As she meets herself in the beautiful landscapes of her own femininity and the other femininity, she is reinventing herself and getting to know herself in ways and dimensions that she didn't even know were all 'her': she invents herself through the same and not the other and different; she discovers, invents and deepens herself not through the binary but through the singular: that singularity which is spoken of like the one, the primary, the all-encompassing, the omnipresent and the eternal. One of the privileges of "normalcy" is a certain ignorance, and when one is what is accepted as the norm in one's social environment, one does not have to think about it. But as lesbians, our bodies in this world move in very different ways and encounter other bodies in very different ways and places than the bodies of the heterosexual majority, and both gays and lesbians can access the knowledge of bodily, sensual, and sensory pleasure that is almost impossible to access in heterosexual culture. Our 'special' status is that in many ways we are both citizens and exiles, family members and strangers. Most of us were raised as heterosexual(s), many were heterosexual(s), as was the Rebel, and many of us can and often do present ourselves as heterosexual. Most of us know the heterosexual world from the inside and, if we wish, from the margins. We can see it with the precision and depth that binocular vision offers. With the knowledge available to us from our various positions on the margins of society, we can base our inventions about ourselves, our inventions about what is a woman and what is a man, on a truly remarkable understanding of how the concept of man and human society has been shaped, only if we choose. The power available to those who choose to deviate from heterosexual norms can be very great. But Rebel is not on the fringes, she is in the mainstream and that makes her powerful and the importance of her choice all the greater. Indeed, her love for Ramona Agrum is shared by many people around the world, regardless of sexual orientation. Some do it with joy, admiration, adoration, some with disgust, ridicule, and disgrace, but the fact is that she is truly followed by a huge number of people, which puts her, compared to billions of people, at the center and not at the margins of society. But if her choice really has a lot of power, at the same time, the question comes back to me: why now, because I think she has known for some time her attraction to women? Did she do it now, when she is already established, and popular and thinks that this can at best add to her attractiveness and further increase the market demand for her, as it certainly can't harm her career (anymore), or did she really need so much time to accept and embrace her own challenge and set out to discover the as yet undiscovered wonderful landscapes of her own femininity and womanhood? In both cases, I can say that Ramona can be very happy and proud that Rebel has chosen her as her first partner and I am really happy for both of them! And how important her coming out is in terms of being a role model and a good example can also be seen in the fact that many lesbians around the world when they read about her coming out, thought she was joking, it seemed so incomprehensible to them that such a celebrity as Rebel Wilson would be in a relationship with a woman, and that is why it is so important to realize that love between women, even women as famous, admired, capable as Rebel, is possible, worthy and admirable! I always wondered why people tried to make types of attraction: does anyone has a type, do we have all our types? Does stereotypes and prejudices exist and if yes, does lesbian community has its own? I believe lesbian community has some stereotypes and I have my own type. When I asked former LL Passion writer Frost if she would write an article about prejudices, femininity and lesbians she was somehow reluctant and did not understand why I would want an article about that. I replied why not and if she did not notice that there were certain stereotypes and prejudices about feminine lesbians? She did not, she replied and at the end agreed to write an article and then forgot about it. However, I believe that 'femmephobia' is not uncommon in lesbian community and that there are unique ways that the negative perceptions of femininity intersect with LGBTQ+ identities as we can also read in the article »Femmephobia: The role of anti-femininity and gender policing in LGBTQ+ people's experience of discrimination« (Hoskin, 2019). Femmephobia exists mainly because femininity is traditionally considered to be a performance for men and as a means to attract the male gaze. Traditional femininity which is positioned in opposition to masculinity and is typically devalued in society, includes the assertion that women should be gentle, submissive, and sexually responsive to men’s advances. For instance, a good example of that is a recent scene of a lesbian couple, both feminine women, when approached by bunch of men making advances towards them in TV series Station 19 (USA, 2018-) broadcasted on 2 April 2020. As Hoskin states scholars have documented the devaluation of femininity for decades (e.g. noting that women are often taken less seriously in the workplace, are not seen as having the characteristics to lead effectively, etc.) and the ways femininity is socially policed (i.e. women who act outside of traditionally feminine characteristics are often chastised and punished) and that is why I believe that (some) lesbians do not appreciate feminine lesbians because they remind them of the things they wish to avoid and for injustices done towards them. Therefore regardless of the sexual orientation women who are more traditionally feminine are perceived to be seeking male attention and/or looking for male sexual partners, whereas when women presented themselves as androgynous or "butch," they are perceived to be lesbians, regardless of their true sexual orientation. Like there is some kind of implicit assumption who could genuinely pose as a lesbian and who not and that is defined according to traditional men or masculine, women or feminine definitions in appearance and behaviour. Such stereotypical assumption is not unique to only those who identify as women. Men who are more feminine in their body shape and/or appearance are often thought to be gay and looking for male attention compared to their masculine-presenting peers, whether or not they identify as such. This concept is at least two thousand years old and it is the same from ancient Greek to (post)modern structuralist or phenomenology philosophers. It presumes the binary of feminine and masculine, where feminine means weak, body, concealed, fragmented (dispersed), following and also beauty, grace, charm, seduction, attractiveness, being looked at, chosen and desired, whereas masculine means strong, mind (spirit), focused, leading, looking, choosing and desiring. It is astonishing what some philosophers said of women, femininity and which purpose should it serve and how most men did not find intelligent, educated, strong and successful women attractive and desirable. Perhaps the most notorious philosophers to be mentioned in this sense are Aristotle, Rousseau and Freud. This explains aforementioned notions of femininity and that is the reason why lesbian community is cautious with feminine lesbians. They assume they are not really or honestly part of the lesbian community and that feminine lesbian are just experimenting, seeking additional attention from and pleasure with women and therefore they are not serious and reliable. While on one side arguably "passing for straight" may come with some privileges, including being less likely to be targeted for one's sexual orientation, on the other side feminine lesbians often describe a feeling that part of their sexuality and their identity is ignored and not being welcomed for the exact aforementioned reasons and that is why they have continuously have to “come out”, proving their sexual identities and demonstrate that they, in fact, belong in the spaces they occupy. This sounds to me that lesbian community indeed have their assumptions about femme lesbians, if not downright prejudices or preferences to who is more welcomed into the community then the other, who best fits into appearance, behaviour and notion of being a homosexual or bisexual woman and who do not. However, looks can be deceiving and feminine lesbians are not only about being fragile, submissive, sweet and 'passing for straight' but also about being strong, independent and influential leaders and this is also where lesbian community falls short of feminine lesbians. As it is again showed in the episode (2 April 2020) Station 19 where femme lesbian (who used to be an Olympic athlete too) proves to be physically stronger then the male when performing the same physical task and in this sense defies the notion of the weaker sex. It is also worth mentioning that she plays captain of the whole fire squad/station 19 – however in 2022 she does not hold this position anymore. Sure, it is a fictional representation, however that does not mean there are no lesbians who are in fact feminine, strong and influential leaders on top positions in real life. I could also tell from my own experiences what prejudices and stereotypes I got from different people when I introduced my ex-girlfriend to them. For instance, a fellow female philosopher commented about my second ex-girlfriend: 'Oh, she is so pretty' in a genuinely surprised tone, like 'she is too pretty to be lesbian'. Another male colleague told me, it is too bad that such a pretty woman is a lesbian, another fellow male philosopher told me what a charismatic woman I was because I dated one of the most desirable women in the town where she came from, another complimented me for having such beautiful ex-girlfriend like it was some kind of victory/prize to be especially proud of. And this is the reason why people still remember her and ask me about her although I am not with her since 2009! Common people, I have long moved on. When I started the LL Passion website, I originally wanted to publish this article. It is about different ideas of family structures and in relation to the organisation/structure of society. The story is somewhat related to my work on the philosophy of love and emotions, and last but not least, how all this relates to society's attitudes towards lesbian and bisexual women? Please bear with me while I make a rather long introduction to the latter topic. I will therefore begin this article with the French historian Emmanuel Todd, whose work I became familiar with a few years ago. Todd's work shows an obvious correlation between family structure and a particular social system of each country, and how we could use this to create inclusive and happy societies that would allow a better acceptance of differences between nations. For example, he talks about how the French family tends to have more equal (but not totally equal) relationships between family members and that power is distributed horizontally, which correlates with the French social system that promotes equality, freedom and brotherhood/sisterhood, whereas the Germans form a family structure with a strong father figure, where power is distributed vertically, which makes for a country with strong leadership and others following. It's a highly organised, disciplined, hard-working nation that follows rules; the French, on the other hand, are not so easy to lead because they are more 'fluid' and have a high value for freedom and equality. And the third example is the UK, which is sort of in between the French and German family structures. Todd then lists which nations within the EU have one of the three family structures and claims that if we knew more about these different structures there would be more peaceful, fruitful dialogue, understanding and acceptance within the EU members and not only within the EU but also in the world. I trust his findings because he clearly has a distinctive method that can be validated and the results can be repeated and verified. Of course, it is the Scandinavian countries that for decades have had the least vertical distribution of power and where men spend almost as much time as women on domestic work, for example. But it should be noted that the modern French nation-state had a very different origin from that of Britain - the former is revolutionary-democratic, the latter capitalist; the former came into being by taking power away from the crown and giving it to the people, the latter became rich not so much through the industrial revolution and trade as through colonialist exploitation. This also clearly shows which nations have more progressive attitudes and policies towards inclusion and diversity in relation to so-called minority and vulnerable groups, such as LGBT people, but there are other factors that have a strong impact on inclusion, as France for example is not as progressive as the UK and even less so than Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Finland.I like the fact that if leaders took Todd's findings into account, there would be more understanding of how to achieve possible long-term peace, equality, tolerance, modernisation, solidarity and prosperity.It fits with my thesis about which family structure, and especially which attitude to child rearing, enables a more democratic, free and equal system.It is the so-called nurturing parent model (caring father and/or caring mother) as opposed to the strict father model. The first is a democratic model and the second is an authoritarian model of family and society, which I will discuss at the end of this article. If Todd speaks from a historian's point of view, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson speak from a philosophical point of view, looking at family structure in relation to politics. Their nurturing parent vs. strict parent model adds another layer of understanding to the creation of politics. The strict parent (or father model) is modelled on the Christian model (morality, discipline) and the nurturing parent on the atheistic, democratic, emphatic model. Her study proved that children of nurturing parents behave morally better than children of strict fathers. The following is an excerpt from the article by Lakoff and Johnson: “The Nurturant Parent Model. > Nurturant Parent. In the Nurturant Parent progressive family, it is assumed that the world is basically good. And, however dangerous and difficult the world may be at present, it can be made better, and it is your responsibility to help make it better. Correspondingly, children are born good, and parents can make them better, and it is their responsibility to do so. Both parents (if there are two) are responsible for running the household and raising the children, although they may divide their activities. The parent's job is to be responsive to their children, nurture them, and raise their children to nurture others. In the Nurturant Parent family, the highest moral values are empathy and responsibility. Effective nurturing requires empathy, which is feeling what someone else feels - parents have to figure out what all their children's signs mean in order to take care of him or her. Responsibility is critical, since being a good nurturer means being responsible not only for looking after the well-being of others, but also for being responsible to ourselves so that we can take care of others. Nurturant parents raise children to be empathetic toward others, responsible to themselves, and responsible to others who are or will be in their care. Empathy connects us to other people in our families, our neighborhoods, and in the larger world. Being responsible to others and oneself requires cooperation. In society, nurturant morality is expressed as social responsibility and that is why nurturant parents are more inclusive and accept diversity. This requires cooperation rather than competition, and recognition of interdependence. Nurturant parents are mostly atheists. This model of the family induces a very different set of moral priorities, which can be characterized by another set of metaphors for morality. Here are the metaphors:
This metaphor entails that moral action requires empathy, involves sacrifices and that helping people who need help is a moral responsibility.
Strict Father: In the conservative worldview, it's assumed that the world is, and always will be, a dangerous and difficult place. It is a competitive world and there will always be winners and losers. Children are naturally bad since they want to do what feels good, not what is moral, so they have to be made good by being taught discipline. There is tangible evil in the world and to stand up to evil, one must be morally strong, or "disciplined." In the "Strict Father" family, the father's job is to protect and support the family. Children are to respect and obey him. The father's moral duty is to teach his children right from wrong, with punishment that is typically physical and can be painful when they do wrong. It is assumed that parental discipline in childhood is required to develop the internal discipline that adults will need in order to be moral and to succeed. Morality and success are linked through discipline. This focus on discipline is seen as a form of love - "tough love." The mother is in the background, not strong enough to protect and support the family or fully discipline the children on her own. Her job is to uphold the authority of the father and to care for and comfort the children. As a "mommy," she tends to be overly soft-hearted and might well coddle or spoil the child. The father must make sure this does not happen, lest the children become weak and dependent. Competition is necessary for discipline. Children are to become self-reliant through discipline and the pursuit of self-interest. Those who succeed as adults are the good (moral) people and parents are not to "meddle" in their lives. Those children who remain dependent - who were spoiled, overly willful, or recalcitrant - undergo further discipline or are turned out to face the discipline of the outside world. When everyone is acting morally and responsibly, seeking their own self-interest in a self-disciplined fashion, everyone benefits. Thus, instilling morality and discipline in your children is also acting for the good of society as a whole. In Strict Morality, the Strict Father is the moral authority, determining right from wrong, and protecting the family from a world that is chaotic and threatening. Evil is a major force in the world that must be fought using moral strength, which has the highest moral priority. Evil is both external and internal. Internal evil is fought with self-discipline and self-denial to achieve "self-control." "Weakness," and the tolerance of it, is immoral since it implies being unable to stand up to evil. Punishment is required to balance the "moral books": if you do wrong, you must suffer a negative consequence. Let me conclude. Why is all this knowledge good for LGBT people and especially lesbian and bisexual women? Because the notions of nurturing and strict parents can also be applied to what Emmanuel Todd wrote about the difference between different family structures and how these can be used in politics within the EU and in the world. We have also seen that non-religious people are more open-minded, forgiving, kind and willing to give opportunities to 'all kinds' of people. This knowledge can of course also be used and applied in the politics of LGBT people around the world. It means that homosexuality is more accepted and valued in families where parental power and authority is more evenly distributed, and where love and care come before punishment and discipline. Countries with more supportive family structures also have more laws that protect human rights and freedom of speech and movement, and they have laws and recommendations that protect vulnerable groups and value inclusivity and diversity in the home, the workplace and society in general. Not only that, but the representation of LGBT people in society is better and more visible, as evidenced by the numerous TV shows with LGBT characters played by LGBT people, advertisements featuring LGBT people and couples, employers more willing to hire LGBT people, LGBT people getting more of their projects funded, politicians willing to mention LGBT people, and more protection for single women (either gay or straight). In short, the Nurturant Parent Family makes the world a more peaceful, good, equal, fair, loving and happy place. Lesbians and Atheism2/24/2022 »Many Amerindians believe that animals have descended from humans rather than humans from animals. Within these cosmogonies, in the beginning everything was human. Then the world ended and from that cataclysm the many species, forests, rivers, stars, and minerals were formed. This dispersion ended the mythic state of primordial cannibalism, when everything was undifferentiated and thus ate its own kin in order to feed itself. All these entities, regardless of their species or form, remain human. There are only some of us who, despite our technologies and sciences, cannot sense the disguised humanity of others. The Yanomami believe that the sky fell on earth and that it had a forest on its back«. Look Above, the Sky is Falling: Humanity Before and After the End of the World Pedro Neves Marques I wish to make a clear statement that non-westerners (amerindians in this case) don't believe in cosmo-techno-lopolis I advocate for in this article! They would say that cosmo-techno-lopolis tend towards uniforming (systemtizaying) singularity while they believe in multitude of worlds, mediated by different ontologies. I should say that I too believe in diversity! I also like their way of thinking that animals came from humans and that we should have a respect and feeling for animals because there is something humane in them therefore I sense their humanity despite our technologies and sciences. I know animals are not beneath us and there is nothing shameful in animals. If you have animal(s) and live with them you treat them as your beloved one(s) with love, kindness, respect, care and empathy. In this respect, their (Amerindians's) way of thinking denounces the so called 'anthropocene' religions and philosophy (Christianity, Judaism, Zoroastrism, ancient Greek philosophy) with its world of transcendence (unearthly domain) and glorifying human species above all living beings on the planet earth. This thinking is 'similar' to why I am an atheist. Most lesbians, including myself, I know are atheists. The reason is clear: prejudices and degradation by religion throughout the world. Thus I am often surprised why someone would assume that lesbians have any connection to any kind of faith although some can be religious. It would be also correct that most of philosophy is conservative and prejudical since Plato started the condemnation of homosexuality in his works The Republic and Laws as being unnatural and unfruitful. As we can read Plato in the Laws (Book 1) opposite-sex sex acts cause pleasure by nature, while same-sex sexuality is unnatural (636c). In Book 8, the Athenian speaker considers how to have legislation banning homosexual acts, masturbation, and illegitimate procreative sex widely accepted. He then states that this law is according to nature (838–839d) It took me quite some time to really acknowledge that it was actually Plato that started both asexuality and heterosexuality as some kind of ideal position for a man educated in divine matters although in Symposium and Phaedrus states otherwise. Roman politeism and Christian religion followed Plato's lead in the form of Neoplatonism. Nowadays atheism is most ardently argued for and promoted in science fiction. I already wrote about atheism in TV series The Westworld, another series is Raised by Wolves where atheism is the central topic of the series. It took me a while to realize why is that: it goes well with the so-called Transhumane or Fourth industrial revolution (4IR) that mostly relies on every kind of technology or as you can read at Anders Sörman-Nilsson website: »We are all cyborgs; a fusion of biology and technology. With the introduction of the Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR) ... Just as robotics and mechanical exoskeletons can amplify our physical capabilities, AI and digital data analysis now help augment our brains. This is the age of transhumanism. Though the idea of a human/-robot is most commonly depicted through science fiction, the truth is that humanity has always used tools as extensions of ourselves. With the help of smarter digital devices, we are now able to do more, sense more and experience more than what is biologically possible ... In the future, you get to dictate what sets you apart from artificial intelligences – or what makes you similar«. Transhumane revolution relies on people and their ability to improve themselves through technology – there is nothing else and noone above or elsewhere to rely on. This realization that almost the only means for the promotion of atheism nowadays is science fiction came to came by reading philosophers, phenomenologists, and existentialists to be precise (which are usually right-wing anti-technology people but not necessarily) who criticize technology, order of logic, and systematization while at the same time using it. They say that the human ratio or mind is to blame for this cosmo-technopolis of systematization but is it not mind and logos that philosophers most ardently support, cherish and strive for? For this same reason, homosexuality was banned and for this reason, I was mostly being ignored in my endeavor of philosophy of love and sexuality in the manner what has this to do with reason, science, and logic? Well, anyway back to technology. I grew up listening to electronic music. It is the most appealing music to me, although I occasionally listen to opera and classical music (only once in a while I like to listen to Donizetti, Saint-Saëns, Mozart, Satie, Grieg and others while I can listen to melodic techno and lounge every day.) The same philosophers (phenomenologists and existentialists) criticize also electronic music and everything that comes with it too (for instance CDs) and argue for analog music. I also grew up playing computer games and I play them even today, again the same philosophers condemn this kind of relaxation and playfulness saying that computer games immerse us into non-human, AI interactions at the expense of authentic common human relations. But when it comes to authentic common human relations they again complain they have been corrupted by ratio logic order of systematization when men are measured to men-power, productivity, effectiveness, and uniformity. They also complain saying that people lost their sense of belonging and 'home' in the megalopolis. Why is that? Because megalopolis spatial imprint as the postmetropolitan era, according to Baudrillard, Deborah and Jameson are considerably larger than in the early twentieth century, yet its power structure is not predominantly anchored in real space. »It supports itself instead through information technology, thereby creating social bonds beneath and across phenomenal space over an area spanning all human settlements — planet Earth and, in sf narratives, orbital settlements. The object of the sublimity of the postmodern megalopolis is accordingly no spatial feature.« (Tandt, 2012: iv) In short, megacities don't map themselves on the earth but on all kinds of new technologies and mostly on information tools and gadgets. Maybe what phenomenologists and existentialists simply try to say is that they don't feel connected to all that technology offers to our life? Indeed, virtuality on one hand and mega spaces where you lose a sense of the anchor/center on the other hand is one of the strongest features of megalopolis but maybe that could be interpreted as some kind of Plato's ideal world of forms? And this brings us back to the topic of atheism and divinity. The way as I understand it and I am going to use only one example because it was supposedly given as an example by a woman. It is about Diotima (we don't know whether imaginary or real), Socrates adviser on matter divine in connection with love. Diotima claims that because Sophia is the love of wisdom, Eros must be a philosopher, »... that is a lover of wisdom who stands in between the fair and the foul, the good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.« (Plato, 1960: 96). And what does it mean to be a lover of wisdom? Diotima, Socrates respectively claims that: Thus men who are concerned more with the physical level take care of children and love a woman, and those who are concerned about the spiritual level take an interest in justice, virtue, and the highest mystery of all (beauty per se). And how do we get to this Beauty/Goodness/Truth? »At first, one should love one fair form, and then many, and learn the connection of them; and from beautiful bodies, he should proceed to beautiful minds, and the beauty of laws and institutions, until he perceives that all beauty is of one kindred; and from institutions, he should go on to the sciences, until at last the vision is revealed to him of a single science of universal beauty, and then he will behold the everlasting nature which is the cause of all and will be near the end. In the contemplation of that supreme love, he will be purified of earthly things, and will behold beauty, not with the bodily eye, but with the eye of the mind, and will bring forth true creations of virtue and wisdom, and be the friend of God and the heir of immortality. And for this reason, Plato says not everything can be an object of desire – only the beautiful, the truthful, and the good, the Divine.« (Majerhold, 2016: 34) I am to simplify this by saying: the divine is something we create with our mind and in our mind, it can be a thought, an action, feeling, emotion which we try to materialize in our everyday life and there is nothing transcendent about it. If it can be called 'transcendent' it is only because it connects it to the nobleness of action, attitude, feeling and decision for being a responsible and ethical person that puts aside what (s)he prefers to what is the right thing to do and what we define the right thing to do is to go beyond our primary narcissistic impulse to do good only for ourselves (for this reason it can be sometimes also ecstatic as ex-statis means to be or stand outside oneself). I found out it is also a quite rewarding thing to act in such a way in two ways. Because first, you have to do something that goes beyond your natural instinct or bias and you have to involve more of your energy and focus and thus you learn more and second, because you make the other person happy and satisfied (if she feels at least a bit of gratitude is reward even higher). To me, the divine is therefore not something transcendent but that is here and now. It is about an ethical action, an action that transcends your everyday attitude of not wanting to do something because you found out that you don't like that person or task, that you don't like what that person does, represents, believe in or when you found out that person wasn't interested in you when you expressed feelings for her. Therefore to me, the divine is everything that is and not which isn't! Divine is what is properly addressed and treated here and now and that is what atheism is also about – not relying on some unearthly imaginary power/being 'out there somewhere' but on to yourself and do best you can depending on your knowledge, skills, feelings, emotions and your character. And of course, this character should be cultivated and 'developed' through time-space, experiences, and knowledge. You live in this world and you take care of yourself but not only for yourself. Have you ever wondered about altruism in nature, about altruism among living beings on this planet Earth? I often do. Some Thoughts on Fashion and Sander2/20/2022 As a young philosopher interested in fashion I wrote several articles about philosophy of fashion and philosophy of beauty from 1994 to 1998. I also regularly wrote and translated articles about latest fashion shows. I won't go into details and bore you with the topics of sewing techniques, innovative fabrics, movement of the clothes interwoven with the notions of body, time and culture and what mostly interested me in Issey Miyake, Martin Margiela, Rei Kawakubo etc. But I also always wondered how come that there have been so many gay fashion designers and almost no lesbian fashion designers? The same as I used to dance modern dance in my adolescent and student years and there have been plenty of gay dancers and almost no lesbian dancers. Where these disproportions came from I always wondered? I finally found the answer and it has something to do with what these fields represent in society: they are associated with femininity, beauty, grace, ellegance and style, in short with femme women and we know that femme women are minority in lesbian world as well. And why on earth lesbian(s) can not have a good taste in clothes, design and women? Yeah, we heard before, because it is objectifying and repeating the heterenormativity but is that really so? It seems that this world still can not comprehend that two beautiful feminine women are attracted towards each other. And obviously I am not the only lesbian who noticed and is baffled by the fact that lots of people think that fashion is mainly for straight women and gay men: Where Are All the Lesbians and Queer Women in Fashion? A queer history of Fashion, Queer Women Are Still Fighting for a Seat at High Fashion's Table. But this still doesn't give the answer which is simple: love between women has never been properly acknowledged and encouraged in the men's world. Although women were never appreciated and valued (for their intelligence, character, desire, stamina, power) they were never allowed to be free and independent because of being the bearer of progeny. And that is the fact. If you read for instance Shusterman's Ars erotica through different cultures and time lovemaking is written by and predominantly for men. Namely, I recently read 440 pages on the art of lovemaking through time and the word 'lesbians' have been mentioned only four times and exactly two sentences written about them, which is less then 1% of the contents of the book. Lesbianism was prohibited, discouraged, ignored and overlooked and then you wonder why there are so few lesbians and why there haven't bee more lesbian role models, like gay men have. This fact stems from literally all cultures across the globe and its impact is still shown everywhere and especially in the fields promoting heternormativity. Anyway, this article is dedicated to 78 years old lesbian fashion designer and icon Jill Sander. As I read, Jill was together with her partner Angela Mommsen for nearly 30 years. From November 2017 until May 2018 Jill Sander had her first ever solo-exhibition 'Jil Sander. Present Tense' of her 40 years long fashion designer career in Frankfurt's Museum Angewandte Kunst (Museum of Applied Arts). Jil Sander launched her first collection in 1973 as a 30 years old woman, creating modern, minimalist clothes that would go on to redefine the working woman's wardrobe. Sander can best be described as fashion’s first feminist and has the strongest claim for empowering women through what they wear. As she said herself: »I never thought of myself as a feminist, but maybe I was, since I was not happy with the way women presented themselves,« the designer said. »I think my work was more about the rapprochement of the sexes and a more androgynous look for men and women. I was looking for more supportive ways to dress myself as a working woman. And since my needs were collective needs in the era of women entering the business world, my work turned out to help them.« The exhibition showcased everything from Sander's expertly tailored coats and dresses to her popular cosmetics line and artistic collaborations, highlighting her lasting impact on what is considered modern in fashion even today. Some other famous lesbian fashion designers I could find are Patricia Field (stylist of TV-shows such as Sex and The City and Younger), Anita Dolce Vita, Jenna Lyons (who used to be 26 years president and executive creative director of J. Crew) and Courtney Crangi (sister of fine jewelry Philip Crangi). Lyons and Crangi were together as a couple from 2012 to 2017. Future of (lesbian) love2/18/2022 As I said before Western nations of love are intertwined with different historical concepts of love, all these Western concepts have a common feature: tragic notions of love, beginning with Aristotle's concept of tragedy and the tragic familial and partnership relations. Yet I propose (lesbian) love as a peaceful happy creative democratic and thoughtful vision. Namely, the lesbian concept of love does not follow Aristotle notion's of love, the Christian notion of love as mother's blind devotion to her son and her son's sacrifice for his father, troubadour's notion of unfulfilled and unconsummated love due to the unattainability of the loved woman, Shakespeare's tragic notion of love where both partners involved die (commit suicide because they can't be together), Rousseau's notions of unequal love of a heterosexual pair Emile and Sophia where Sophia serves as an uneducated mother to her husband and his children, Freud's transference (triangle) notion of love where partners are haunted by their father's presence, defined as the superego and thus forcing partners into the repetition of their primary family roles and pattern. Lesbian love pursues the joy and satisfaction of (women's) sexuality which offers pleasure and fulfillment to both women involved. Lesbian love involves mutual respect of wishes and desires, respect for each other's intelligence, emotions, spirit, and body, it values reciprocity, two-way communication, personal growth, freedom, creativity, openness, democracy, and equality. We are against Aristotle's notion of love form because we disagree with his notion of family and life that promotes inequality among people and especially among sexes. As we read his Nichomachean Ethics, books VIII and IX he explicitly tells that man is above women and children and they all need to obey him just because he is a man and not according to his merits. He also promotes and puts oligarchy and royalty above all people. In his opinion, only the upper class and royalty can serve as role models in the artwork which could teach ordinary people the most important life lessons, catharsis through empathy and compassion, and which we should even reproduce by seeing it on the stage. The same inequality between sexes promotes Rousseau in his book Emile or on Education in book V. where Sophie is destined only for the role of mother and wife of his husband Emile, not to mention Thomas Aquinas most notorious example of women's inevitable submission by saying that women are by nature deficient and misbegotten and last but not least Freud's Bildungsroman (novel of education) which focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the male protagonist from youth to adulthood (coming of age). There is also a notorious book by Denise de Rougemont, Love in the Western World. If we could summarize his message into thought it would be with his own words: The Westerners way of learning things is by and through suffering (and mostly in connection to religious suffering, especially as he argues for the gnostic and Cathar beliefs of purity, goodness, and truth and in context of Mary Magdalene). If that isn't the most concise version of Westerner's way of thinking I don't what it is. Is it also an echo from an old Egyptian, old Jewish, old Greek, and Buddhist way of thinking? But do we really agree with these since we know all that is aimed at the disdain for this and now earthly existence towards some kind of (more)enlightened but nonexistent, non-real spiritual afterworld as they try to convince us and we can attain it only through faith and belief? By studying the history of spiritual and religious theories and practices I found out there has been only one spiritual thought that praises what is 'here and now' as sacred and that is Shinto religion (but the fact is that Shinto religion has been also behind Japanese pride during the WW II. Thus the only ancient spiritual thought that could have any validation for us is marked with an ugly history that has nothing to do with sacred and worshiping life, gentleness, nourishment, solidarity, freedom, and democracy). We try to pave a new way that Westerners haven't known yet. The way is to take care of our everyday, ordinary relations, and interactions. This is what matters the most: how we talk, act, and do in the most common and everyday interactions with all beings, humane, animals, and even plants. Our vision stems from Nussbaum's thoughts about love in the western world. For instance in the third chapter of her Upheavals of Thought, Ascents of Love (The Transfiguration of Everyday Life: Joyce, Democratic Desire: Whitman), she presents love as something that has not only to do with going upwards on the love ladder, as presented in Plato's and St. Augustine work on becoming an impenetrable shining rock, but also downward, as presented in various works of literature, especially in Joyce's Ulysses, (a love story between Molly and Leopold Bloom), Whitman's democratic desire for equality, compassion, and reconciliation of the sexes in all areas of everyday life, (from politics to marriage), Proust's In Search of Lost Time, Swan's Way, (a love story between Albertine and Marcel), and Beckett's Molloy, Malone Dies and The Unnameable. Instead of having love only as soul-based, striped of bodily passionate love, which makes man dormant to his own desires and consequently also to his lover, as Plato and Augustine complain, or seeing a lover only as an interest-(object)based fulfillment of his appetites without true and mutual fulfillment (Kant), Nussbaum shows that love is as much upward abstract, in a universal and soulful way as it is downward by concrete (sexual) partial and bodily experience; that spirit is as important as flesh and both are sacred. That is why Nussbaum keeps saying that love in a modern world is free, democratic, individual, mutual, (reciprocal), sensual, erotic, and compassionate, reparative love. And besides love and sexuality, Nussbaum puts a great deal of emphasis on another important emotion; she calls it the central theme of society, compassion. In Upheavals of Thought: The Intelligence of Emotions, Nussbaum makes an experiential argument for emotions as judgments of value. Starting from Aristotle’s account, she considers compassion as a painful emotion directed at another person’s misfortune or suffering. She then unravels the cognitive structure of compassion. The first cognitive requirement of compassion is a belief or appraisal that the suffering is serious rather than trivial, the judgment of size. The second is the belief that the person does not deserve the suffering, the judgment of non-desert. The third is called the eudaimonistic judgment: this person or creature is a significant element in my scheme of goals and projects, an end whose good is to be promoted. »Compassion makes thought attend to certain human facts, and in a certain way, with concern to make a lot of the suffering as good, other things being equal, as it can be – because that person is an object of one’s concern. Often that concern is motivated or supported by the thought that one might oneself be, one day, in that person’s position. Often, again, it is motivated or supported by the imaginative exercise of putting oneself in that person’s place. I have claimed that, other things being equal, the compassionate person will acquire motivations to help the person for whom she has compassion.« (Nussbaum, 2001: 342). Compassion is linked with benevolent action. For Nussbaum, a central challenge for a society that wants to cultivate broad and appropriate compassion would be to produce people who can live with their humanity, who can surrender omnipotence (i.e. awareness and understanding that we are not the only one here and that not everything needs to revolve around us all the time but that t-here are also others. Essentially, this means that we know how to limit ourselves and that we drop emotions, such as possessiveness, envy, jealousy, and that people we love have also time for themselves and their interests, hobbies, and friends besides us although we are someone's partner, daughter, friend, etc.). For Nussbaum, compassion includes the thought of common humanity, which should lead us to be intensely concerned with the material (also bodily) as well as emotional, mental, and spiritual happiness of others. Love, sexuality, reciprocity, and compassion are the most important alongside proper communication, freedom, and upbringing. Katarina Majerholdphilsopher, lesbian, editor Archives
May 2023
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